The Torah commands us to honor our elders and suggests that we reach our elder status at 70. But you can use this celebration of wisdom ritual for any birthday that feels momentous. Begin by gathering loved ones, whether family members, close friends or neighbors. You may invite guests to think of special memories or to share photos before the gathering. And of course, serve a meal with their favorite foods.  

We say shehecheyanu to thank the Creator for giving us life, sustaining us, and allowing us to reach this day. It’s a time to pause and feel gratitude for marking momentous occasions, like a birthday. 

בָּרוּך אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶך הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וקְִיְמָּנוּ והְִגִיּעָנוּ לַזְמַן הַזֶה

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha’olam, shehecheyanu, v’kiyimanu, v’higiyanu la’z’man ha’zeh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe who has given us life, sustained us, and allowed us to reach this day.

Now is a moment for those present to reflect on our special person’s life so far, to acknowledge their accomplishments, to celebrate their values, and to share favorite stories about them. 

Next, we look to Chapter 90 of the Book of Psalms to share our wishes for reaching this special birthday.

Teach us to number our days,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Relent oh God! How long will it be?

Have compassion on your servants.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,

for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,

your splendor to their children.

May the favor of our God rest on us;

establish the work of our hands for us—

yes, establish the work of our hands.

(Excerpt from Psalm 90)

As we look to the future, we invite the birthday person to share their goals and aspirations for the future.  Others are invited to offer words of encouragement, support, and advice for the next chapter of their life.

Finally, we close by lighting a candle to represent the years we have to celebrate and express a wish for the years to come. You may wish to use a havdalah candle that can be lifted high into the center of the room where everyone can look into the flame. 

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא מְאוֹרֵי הָאֵשׁ 

Baruch atah, Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha’olam, boray me’oray ha’aysh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, who creates the fire's lights

As you put out the candle in a glass of wine or other beverage - everyone shouts “mazal tov!”  Or you can sing a favorite song of the birthday person. 

Remaining connected socially is critical for our mental health, especially as our friendships shift after retirement. Based on the blessing for putting on a tallit, we imagine ourselves feeling held and embraced by the bonds of a new friendship. 

Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Ruach ha’Olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu l’hitateif b'yehdidut.

Blessed are you, Adonai our God, Spirit of the Universe, who sanctifies us, commanding us to wrap ourselves in friendship.

Slowly descend the steps into the mikveh waters and immerse completely so that every part of your body is covered by the water. When you emerge, recite the following blessing:

ברוך אתה יי אלהינו מלך העולם    Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam  

אשר קדשנו בטבילה במים חיים      asher kidshanu bi-t’vilah b’mayyim hayyim.

Blessed are You, God, Majestic Spirit of the Universe

who makes us holy by embracing us in living waters. (1)

Clip source: Mayyim Hayyim

Eternal God, we thank you with all our heart that You have brought us in health and love and strength to this moment in our pregnancy. God who gives life, we stand humbly now on the threshold of this new life, ready to take on the responsibility of raising this soul to Torah and good deeds. In a few weeks, God willing, we will mark the journey of this child from womb to world with the severing of the umbilical cord. Today, we tie these final knots as we pray that You will grant us an easy labor and help us to bring this child safely into our arms.  

For the gestational parent: God, Compassionate One, grant me trust, strength and stamina to surrender to the process of birth. Give me courage and discernment to work with my birthing team as I bring forth this tiny life and help me to feel your presence in every contraction and every breath. 

For the non-gestational parent: God, bless me with compassion, patience and resilience as I support _______ in birthing our child. Grant me the wisdom to understand that we walk this path together, and that each contraction brings us closer to our child. 

Both parents: This tallit is now complete. Like the wings of the shekhinah, כנפי השכינה, may the four corners of this garment be for us and for this baby a symbol of God’s protection and abiding presence, and a sign of our love and commitment. These strings represent our promises, our fears, and our milestones on this journey. May we soon merit the blessing of wrapping our baby in this tallit. 

Wrap and tie the fourth set of tzitzit.

בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ שְכִינָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ רוּחַ הָעוֹלַם הַמְּרָחֶמֶת עַלֵינוּ בְּאַהֲבָה.

Berukhah at Shekhinah, Eloheinu Ruach ha‘olam, ha’merahemet aleinu be’ahavah. 

Blessed are You Shekhinah, Spirit of the Universe, who enwombs us with love.

Clip source: Rabbi Sofia Zway

מַה־יָּקָ֥ר חַסְדְּךָ֗ אֱלֹ֫הִ֥ים וּבְנֵ֥י אָדָ֑ם בְּצֵ֥ל כְּ֝נָפֶ֗יךָ יֶחֱסָיֽוּן׃

Mah yakar hasdecha Elohim! U’vnei adam b’tzel knafeycha yechesayun

How precious is Your loving-kindness, O God! Humankind finds refuge in the shadow of Your wings. (Psalm 36:8)

Parents: The tallit is an embracing symbol of the Covenant between God and the Jewish people, and we are reminded of the mitzvot by the tzitzit on its corners. Today we envelop our child into the folds of a tallit as a symbol of his/her/their entry into our Covenant with God and Klal Yisrael. These past nine months we have journeyed together and created this tallit together for this moment, a symbol not only of the covenant between our child and God, but between us and our child. May this tallit serve as a symbol of our love, commitment and protection.

Our God and God of our ancestors, we thank you for the gift of this child, and for bringing him/her/them to us in good time and in good health. May he/she/they grow to maturity embraced by God’s love and the love of all who know him/her/them. May the words of Torah surround him/her/them. Clothed in majesty and honor, may he/she/they always look to the future with joy. May the Shekhinah, God’s sheltering presence, be with our precious child always.

The child is wrapped in the tallit. 

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ, מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם זוֹכֵר הַבְּרִית בְּעֲטִיפָה בַּצִּיצִית.

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu, Melekh ha‘olam, zokher habrit ba‘atifah batzitzit.

Blessed are You, Eternal our God, Sovereign of the Universe, Who remembers the Covenant through the wrapping of a tallit. 

בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ שְכִינָה הַשּׁוֹמֶרֶת נַפְשוֹתֵינוּ תַּחַת כְּנָפֶיהָ.

Berukhah at Shekhinah, hashomeret nafshoteinu tahat kenafeha.

Blessed are You, Shekhinah, who shelters us beneath Her wings. 

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ, מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה.

Barukh atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melekh ha‘olam, sheheheyanu, vekiyemanu, vehigiy‘anu lazman hazeh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the Universe, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and brought us to this season.

Clip source: Rabbi Sofia Zway

This ritual is designed to be included as an add-on to a brit milah or brit bat ceremony, though it can also be celebrated as a stand-alone ritual. This ritual can also be adapted to exclude the burial of the placenta. If the placenta is going to be buried, it is advisable to situate this ritual at the home of the family. If the placenta will not be buried, an alternative location can be found for planting the tree - perhaps the synagogue, or a local park. 

בָּרוּךְ הַבָּא בְּשֵׁם יְהוָה בֵּרַכְנוּכֶם מִבֵּית יְהוָה׃

Barukh ha’ba b’shem Adonai berachnuchem m’beit Adonai

Blessed is the One who enters in the name of the Eternal; we bless you from the House of the Eternal. 

We are gathered here today to celebrate the birth of our baby, ________. We also honor the Source of Life that has given us life, sustained us and allowed us to reach this moment. God works in mysterious and miraculous ways, sustaining life during pregnancy through the placenta. As we celebrate this new life, we also mark its separation from this miraculous organ, nature’s very own Tree of Life, Etz Hayyim. Jewish tradition teaches us that Torah is a tree of life to those who hold fast to it. Today, we pray that our child, ________, will find comfort, strength and sustenance in words of Torah and Jewish community, just as she/he/they once found in this placenta. 

The placenta is placed in the earth as we sing Etz Hayyim Hi.

עֵץ־חַיִּים הִיא לַמַּחֲזִיקִים בָּהּ וְתֹמְכֶיהָ מְאֻשָּׁר׃דְּרָכֶיהָ דַרְכֵי־נֹעַם וְכָל־נְתִיבוֹתֶיהָ שָׁלוֹם׃

Etz hayim hi l’mahazikim bah, v’tomchecha m’ushar: d’racheiha darkhei noam v’kol nativotecha shalom

She is a tree of life to those who hold fast to her, and all of her supporters are happy. Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace. (Proverbs 3:17-18)

There is space now for the birthing person to offer personal words of gratitude for the placenta before the recitation of Asher Yatzar. 

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת־הָאָדָם בְּחָכְמָה וּבָֽרָא בוֹ נְקָבִים נְקָבִים חֲלוּלִים חֲלוּלִים גָּלוּי וְיָדֽוּעַ לִפְנֵי כִסֵּא כְבוֹדֶֽךָ שֶׁאִם יִפָּתֵֽחַ אֶחָד מֵהֶם אוֹ יִסָּתֵם אֶחָד מֵהֶם אִי אֶפְשַׁר לְהִתְקַיֵּם וְלַעֲמֹד לְפָנֶֽיךָ. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה רוֹפֵא כָל־בָּשָׂר וּמַפְלִיא לַעֲשׂוֹת:

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, asher yatzar et ha'adam b'chochmah, u'varah bo ni'kahveem ni'kah-veem, chahlulim chalulim, galoi viyadua lifney kisay ki'vodecha, she'im yipahtayach ekhad meihem, oh yisatare ekhad meihem, ei efshar l'hitkayam v'la'ahmad lifanecha afilu sha'ah echot. Baruch atah Adonai rofeh kol basar u'mahf'li la'asot. 

Blessed are You, Eternal our God, Sovereign of the universe, who formed the human body with wisdom, creating the body’s many pathways and openings. It is well known before Your throne of glory that if one of them be wrongly opened or closed, it would be impossible to endure and stand before You. Blessed are You, Adonai, who heals all flesh, working wondrously.

All present respond: Amen.

Parents: The Talmud teaches us that it was customary when a child was born to plant a tree. Pine for a girl and cedar for a boy. When the child grew up and got married, they would cut down the trees and build the huppah from them. And though we hope never to cut down this tree, that it may sustain you and the future branches of our family tree, we pray that it may always be a symbol of what we hope for you, our child:

וְהָיָה כְּעֵץ שָׁתוּל עַל־פַּלְגֵי מָיִם אֲשֶׁר פִּרְיוֹ יִתֵּן בְּעִתּוֹ וְעָלֵהוּ לֹא־יִבּוֹל וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר־יַעֲשֶׂה יַצְלִיחַ׃

V’haya k’etz shatul al’pagei mayim asher piryo yiten b’eito v’aleihu lo’yibul v’chal asher ya’aseh yatzlicha. 

May your roots grow deep

May you always stand up tall

May the branches of your tree reach wide

May you be well-nourished by your community

May you blossom in everything you do

And may you be a source of shelter and comfort to others (Psalm 1:3) 

If the child’s naming is being included in this ritual, the parents can share the name and explanation at this point. 

As we have brought you into the sacred covenant of the Jewish people, so may we merit to lead you to a life filled with Torah, sacred relationships, and good deeds. 

A sapling is planted over the placenta. All present are invited to shovel soil over the roots. 

 בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ שְכִינָה מְקוׂר הָחַיִּים.

Berukha at Shekhinah mekor hahayyim.

Blessed are You, Shekhina, Source of Life.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְמַן הַזֶּה:

Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu Melekh ha‘olam, shehecheyanu, vekiyemanu, vehigiy‘anu lazman hazeh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the Universe, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and brought us to this season.

Clip source: Rabbi Sofia Zway