The Priestly Blessing belongs to no one exclusively. There is no rule that says it can only flow from parent to child. It has always been spoken between people who love each other.

Many communities have begun the practice of offering it between friends, between mentors and students, between members of a chavurah (friendship and study circle). You can place your hands on a friend’s shoulders, look them in the eyes, and speak the words. You can say them in Hebrew, in English, or in your own words entirely.

A simple framework for blessing a friend:

May you be protected.

May you be seen and known. May you find peace.

Or be specific: May you find what you've been looking for. May your worries be lighter this week. May you know how much people love you.

The blessing is the attention. It is the act of turning toward someone and saying: you matter, I see you, I want good things for you. That turning — that full, deliberate facing toward another person — is what makes it holy.

The custom of blessing children on Friday night is one of the most tender rituals of the Jewish home. Place both hands gently on the child's head and begin:

For sons:

יְשִׂימְךָ אֱלֹהִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה

Yesimcha Elohim k’Efraim v’chiMenashe.

May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.

For daughters:

יְשִׂימֵךְ אֱלֹהִים כְּשָׂרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה

Yesimech Elohim k’Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel v’Leah.

May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.

Then, for all children, continue with the Priestly Blessing.

Ephraim and Manasseh were the first brothers in the Torah who did not compete with or harm each other—theirs is a blessing of peaceful sibling love and of holding their Jewish identity even while living in Egypt. Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah are the founding mothers of the Jewish people, each of whom navigated profound uncertainty with courage, leadership, and faith.

Many families also offer a gender-neutral version that combines both sets of names:

“May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Leah, Ephraim, and Manasseh.”

You might also choose to create a more modern version that names ancestors or other beloved individuals who embody qualities you want to pass on.

After the Priestly Blessing, the most important part: add your own words. Whisper something specific to this child, this week—what you love about them, what you see in them, what you hope for them. The blessing doesn’t have to be formal. The act of pausing, placing your hands on someone you love, and speaking words over them is the ritual itself.

And if your children are far away—at college, across the country, or living abroad—many families continue this practice over the phone or on video calls. The distance doesn’t diminish the blessing. It may even deepen it.

Before we begin, consider journaling as you reflect on these questions. There are no right answers. Write what's true for you.

1. What is a ritual — Jewish or otherwise — that has brought you genuine joy? It doesn't have to be formal or religious. It might be a Friday night dinner, a song you always sing, a food that means home. What made it meaningful? Who was there?

2. Think about your Jewish journey so far. What moments, practices, or people have felt most alive to you — the times you felt most connected to something larger than yourself? And where have there been gaps, distances, or questions you haven't known how to ask?

3. Have you ever held back from a Jewish experience because you felt you didn't know enough, or didn't belong quite enough? What would it mean to give yourself permission to show up anyway — curious, imperfect, and enough exactly as you are?

4. What do you most want to feel more of in your life right now — joy, connection, meaning, purpose, or something else entirely? How might ritual — even a small, simple one — be a doorway toward that?

5. What are you passing on? To your children, grandchildren, friends, or community — what Jewish memories, values, or practices do you hope will outlast you? And is there anything you wish someone had passed on to you?

When Vanessa's grandchildren would arrive from New Jersey for Passover, before they even came inside, she would race them to the backyard with little plastic bags to pick the first violets of the year. Those violets went straight onto the Seder plate.

"In a sense, our backyard was part of the holiday. Picking flowers was what it meant to mark Passover at grandma and grandpa's."

What does nature look like in your home? A windowsill with herbs? The first tulips in spring? A view of the sky during Shabbat candle-lighting?

The First Flowers of the Season

Every year, in the spring month of Nissan, the tradition of Birkat Ha'Ilanot — the Blessing on the Blossoming Trees — invites us to step outside, notice a fruit tree in bloom, and say a blessing over it. This blessing is traditionally recited only once a year, in the season of the first flowers, and only when you happen to encounter the blossoms in the course of your day — not by seeking them out, but by noticing them.

ָּברוּ ְך ַא ָּתה ה׳ ֱאלֹ ֵהינוּ ֶמ ֶל ְך ָהע ֹו ָלם ׁ ֶש ּלֹא ִח ַּסר ְּבע ֹו ָלמ ֹו ְּכלוּם

.וָּבָראבֹו ְּבִריֹּותטֹובֹותְוִאיָלנֹותטֹובֹות ְלַהּנֹות ָּבֶהם ְּבֵני ָאָדם

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, shelo chisar b'olamo klum, uvara vo b'riyot tovot v'ilanot tovot l'hanot bahem b'nei adam.

Blessed are You, Eternal our God, Sovereign of the Universe, whose world lacks nothing and who created good beings and beautiful trees for human beings to enjoy.

This blessing is traditionally said on fruit-bearing trees when their blossoms first appear. But the spirit extends beyond any single tree — it is an annual invitation to notice the renewal happening around you, and to say something about it out loud.

For Your Family

If you live somewhere with fruit trees in bloom in spring, say the blessing when you first see them — on a walk, from a car window, in your own garden.

Adapt the tradition to your landscape: the first daffodils, the first cherry blossoms, the first wildflowers.

Make it a ritual to bring the first flowers of the season inside as part of a Shabbat, a Passover table, or simply a spring meal. Name them. Let them signal something.

A blessing for any beautiful thing in nature (from Psalm 104:24):

מָה רַבּוּ מַעֲשֶׂיךָ ה׳, כֻּלָּם בְּחָכְמָה עָשִׂיתָ

Mah rabu ma'asekha Adonai, kulam b'chokhmah asita.

How great are Your works, Eternal — in wisdom You have made them all.

In this episode, Vanessa offers one of the most joyful ritual invitations in the Regeneration series: a custom-made home blessing, designed by your own family, in your own words. Her version is built on the same architecture as Birkat HaBayit — naming what you don't want and what you do — but filled entirely with your own specific, honest, even funny hopes for this particular home.

Step 1: Two Lists

Take a piece of paper. On one side, make a list of everything you don't want in your home: Anger. Loud arguments. Rushing. Carelessness. Germs.

On the other side, make a list of everything you do want:

Love. Peace. Good food. Laughter. Afternoon naps. Big conversations. Friends that become family.

Let the lists be honest. Let them be funny. Let your children add their own items — their wishes for the home count just as much as yours.

Step 2: The Blessing Format

Take a new piece of paper. Write your own blessing, following this structure:

In this house, may there be no ___________. In this house, may there be no ___________. In this house, may there be ___________.

In this house, may there be ___________. (Add as many lines as you like.)

Fill in the blanks from your two lists.

Step 3: Read It Aloud Together

When it's complete, read it aloud as a family or group. That moment of reading aloud — together — is the ritual. You have just created a custom-designed Jewish home blessing.

Consider doing this as a seasonal ritual, revisiting the blessing at the start of a new year, a new season, or when something significant changes. Date and save the old ones. They become part of your family's story.

Before you check your phone. Before your feet hit the floor. Before the day gets loud — Jewish tradition asks you to say two words: thank you.

Modeh Ani is the first prayer of the Jewish day, said the moment your eyes open, while still in bed. It is two lines long. It requires nothing but your breath and your willingness.

מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְפָנֶיך מֶלֶך חַי וְקַיָם שֶׁהֶחֱזַרְתָּ בִי נִשְׁמָתִי בְחֶמְלָה, רַבָּה אֱמוּנָתֶךָ

Modeh ani l’fanecha, melech chai v’kayam,

shehechezarta bi nishmati b’chemla, raba emunatecha.

I give thanks before You, living and eternal Sovereign,

for You have returned my soul to me with compassion.

How great is Your faithfulness in me.

The word modeh doesn’t just mean “thank.” It can also mean “admit” or “surrender” — an acknowledgment that we are not entirely self-made, that each day is not owed to us but given. And there’s something hidden in the word order: it would be grammatically correct to say Ani modeh — “I thank You.” But it’s reversed: Modeh Ani — thank you comes before I. The prayer reminds us, right at the start, to lead with gratitude rather than self.

The Practice

Tomorrow morning, before anything else, say the words above — or simply say: I am grateful to be here. This day is a gift. That’s it. Do it again the next morning. And the next.

If the language of “Sovereign” or “King” (melech) doesn’t fit you, swap in Ruach (Spirit), or Source, or simply speak to whatever you do believe in. The vessel matters less than the turning toward gratitude.

Three Things

Each morning after reciting Modeh Ani — or in its place — write down three things you are grateful for. They can be tiny. The coffee. The quiet. The text from a friend. Over time, this simple practice rewires the brain’s tendency to scan for threat first, and trains the eye toward the good that is already here.

Share with a friend or chevruta: What is one thing you noticed this morning — something small — that you are genuinely glad exists? What would shift in your day if the very first word you said every morning was thank you?

*Modeh = masculine, Modah = feminine