We pledge to rise up in Revolutionary Love.
We declare our love for all who are in harm’s way, including refugees, immigrants, Muslims, Sikhs, Jews, LGBTQIA people, Black people, Latinx, the indigenous, the disabled, and the poor. We stand with millions of people around the globe rising up to end violence against women and girls (cis, transgender and gender non-conforming) who are often the most vulnerable within marginalized communities. We vow to see one another as brothers and sisters and fight for a world where every person can flourish.
We declare love even for our opponents. We vow to oppose all executive orders and policies that threaten the rights and dignity of any person. We call upon our elected officials to join us, and we are prepared to engage in moral resistance throughout this administration. We will fight not with violence or vitriol, but by challenging the cultures and institutions that promote hate. In so doing, we will challenge our opponents through the ethic of love.
We declare love for ourselves. We will practice the dignity and care in our homes that we want for all of us. We will protect our capacity for joy. We will nurture our bodies and spirits; we will rise and dance. We will honor our mothers and ancestors whose bodies, breath, and blood call us to a life of courage. In their name, we choose to see this darkness not as the darkness of the tomb - but of the womb. We will breathe and push through the pain of this era to birth a new future.
INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT
JERRY
Do you know why they call it Passover? G-d told Moses that the Israelites should mark their doorposts with lamb’s blood. So that He could “pass over” their houses. And spare them from the plague of the killing of the first born. My question is: Who was put in charge of telling everyone? That’s a big job. There’s a lot counting on that job. What if someone isn’t home? How did they tell them? Did they leave a note? Probably not. The Egyptians could see it. Would have ruined the whole plan. Did they just take the liberty of putting lamb’s blood on the door? What about when that family gets home, sees blood all over their door? “Honey, do you see this? Someone put blood on our door. Someone’s out to get us! You better get off the couch and wipe this off.” “I’m busy! Have our first born do it!”
adapted from The Yada Yada Haggadah - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1793219109
Jerry Seinfeld's Passover Stand-Up Introduction - The Yada Yada Haggadah
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To help us remember the story of the first Passover, we have assembled various symbolic foods on a Seder plate. There's egg and spam; shankbone and spam; greens and spam, bitter herbs and spam, charoses and spam, and spam, and spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam matzoh and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam... Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
But I can't eat spam, it's not kosher!
The Sorting Hat of Passover
You might belong in Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart. They forge the path for those to come with justice, tzedek, from the start!
You might belong in Hufflepuff where they are just and loyal. Those patient ‘Puffs are true and unafraid of Middle Eastern turmoil!
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw if you’ve a ready mind. Where those of wit and learning will always find chevruta in kind.
Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends. Those cunning folks use any sources to achieve their Talmudic ends.
Though I must fulfill my duty and must divide the table every year; still I wonder whether sorting may not bring the end I fear. Oh, know the Bible, read the Siddur, the warning with which history is fraught. For our Seder is in danger from external deadly thought! And we must stay united or we’ll crumble from within; I have told you, I have warned you, let the Jewish learning begin!
We pledge to rise up in Revolutionary Love.
We declare our love for all who are in harm’s way, including refugees, immigrants, Muslims, Sikhs, Jews, LGBTQIA people, Black people, Latinx, the indigenous, the disabled, and the poor. We stand with millions of people around the globe rising up to end violence against women and girls (cis, transgender and gender non-conforming) who are often the most vulnerable within marginalized communities. We vow to see one another as brothers and sisters and fight for a world where every person can flourish.
We declare love even for our opponents. We vow to oppose all executive orders and policies that threaten the rights and dignity of any person. We call upon our elected officials to join us, and we are prepared to engage in moral resistance throughout this administration. We will fight not with violence or vitriol, but by challenging the cultures and institutions that promote hate. In so doing, we will challenge our opponents through the ethic of love.
We declare love for ourselves. We will practice the dignity and care in our homes that we want for all of us. We will protect our capacity for joy. We will nurture our bodies and spirits; we will rise and dance. We will honor our mothers and ancestors whose bodies, breath, and blood call us to a life of courage. In their name, we choose to see this darkness not as the darkness of the tomb - but of the womb. We will breathe and push through the pain of this era to birth a new future.
INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT
JERRY
Do you know why they call it Passover? G-d told Moses that the Israelites should mark their doorposts with lamb’s blood. So that He could “pass over” their houses. And spare them from the plague of the killing of the first born. My question is: Who was put in charge of telling everyone? That’s a big job. There’s a lot counting on that job. What if someone isn’t home? How did they tell them? Did they leave a note? Probably not. The Egyptians could see it. Would have ruined the whole plan. Did they just take the liberty of putting lamb’s blood on the door? What about when that family gets home, sees blood all over their door? “Honey, do you see this? Someone put blood on our door. Someone’s out to get us! You better get off the couch and wipe this off.” “I’m busy! Have our first born do it!”
adapted from The Yada Yada Haggadah - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1793219109
Jerry Seinfeld's Passover Stand-Up Introduction - The Yada Yada Haggadah
Preview
More
To help us remember the story of the first Passover, we have assembled various symbolic foods on a Seder plate. There's egg and spam; shankbone and spam; greens and spam, bitter herbs and spam, charoses and spam, and spam, and spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam matzoh and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam... Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
But I can't eat spam, it's not kosher!
The Sorting Hat of Passover
You might belong in Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart. They forge the path for those to come with justice, tzedek, from the start!
You might belong in Hufflepuff where they are just and loyal. Those patient ‘Puffs are true and unafraid of Middle Eastern turmoil!
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw if you’ve a ready mind. Where those of wit and learning will always find chevruta in kind.
Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends. Those cunning folks use any sources to achieve their Talmudic ends.
Though I must fulfill my duty and must divide the table every year; still I wonder whether sorting may not bring the end I fear. Oh, know the Bible, read the Siddur, the warning with which history is fraught. For our Seder is in danger from external deadly thought! And we must stay united or we’ll crumble from within; I have told you, I have warned you, let the Jewish learning begin!
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