Remember, God, the soul of my mother, my teacher ( the name of the mother, daughter of the name of her father or mother ), who went to her world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for her. In recompense for this, let her soul be bound with the Binding of life (God), with the soul of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya'akov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah, and with the other righteous men and women in the Garden of Eden. And let us say, Amen.

 

El Malei Rachamim

O Power, full of mercy, who dwells on high, establish proper rest upon the wings of the Divine Presence, on the levels of the holy and pure ones [who] shine like the splendor of the firmament, [for] the soul of ( the name of the departed, daughter of the name of her father or mother ) who went to her world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for the memory of her soul; let her rest be in the Garden of Eden. Hence, Master of mercy, cover her in the cover of His wings forever and bind her soul with the Binding of life (God). God is her inheritance and let her rest in peace upon her place of repose. And let us say Amen.

Unetanneh Tokef or Un'taneh Tokef (ונתנה תוקף) (" Let us speak of the awesomeness ") is a piyyut that has been a part of the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur liturgy in rabbinical Judaism for centuries. It is chanted while the Torah ark is open and the congregants are standing.

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Let us now relate the power of this day's holiness, for it is awesome and frightening. On it Your Kingship will be exalted; Your throne will be firmed with kindness and You will sit upon it in truth. It is true that You alone are the One Who judges, proves, knows, and bears witness; Who writes and seals, Who counts and Who calculates. You will remember all that was forgotten. You will open the Book of Remembrances — it will read itself – and each person's signature is there. And the great shofar will be sounded and a still, thin voice will be heard. Angels will hasten, a trembling and terror will seize them — and they will say, 'Behold, it is the Day of Judgment, to muster the heavenly host for judgment!' — for even they are not guiltless in Your eyes in judgment.

All mankind will pass before You like a flock of sheep. Like a shepherd pasturing his flock, making sheep pass under his staff, so shall You cause to pass, count, calculate, and consider the soul of all the living; and You shall apportion the destinies of all Your creatures and inscribe their verdict.

On Rosh Hashanah will be inscribed and on Yom Kippur will be sealed – how many will pass from the earth and how many will be created; who will live and who will die; who will die at his predestined time and who before his time; who by water and who by fire, who by sword and who by beast, who by famine and who by thirst, who by upheaval and who by plague, who by strangling and who by stoning. Who will rest and who will wander, who will live in harmony and who will be harried, who will enjoy tranquility and who will suffer, who will be impoverished and who will be enriched, who will be degraded and who will be exalted. But Repentance, Prayer, and Charity annul the severe Decree.

For Your Name signifies Your praise: hard to anger and easy to appease, for You do not wish the death of one deserving death, but that he repent from his way and live. Until the day of his death You await him; if he repents You will accept him immediately. It is true that You are their Creator and You know their inclination, for they are flesh and blood. A man's origin is from dust and his destiny is back to dust, at risk of his life he earns his bread; he is likened to a broken shard, withering grass, a fading flower, a passing shade, a dissipating cloud, a blowing wind, flying dust, and a fleeting dream.

But You are the King, the Living and Enduring God.

There is no set span to Your years and there is no end to the length of Your days. It is impossible to estimate the angelic chariots of Your glory and it is forbidden to pronounce Your Name. Your Name is worthy of You and You are worthy of Your Name, and You have included Your Name in our name.

P’tach Lanu Sha’ar - Open the Gates
 

“P’tach lanu sha’ar, open for us the gates – open the gates even as they are closing,” we cry.

In this season of reflection and renewal, we stand ready at the Gates of Repentance, hoping that they will remain open to us.

“P’tach lanu sha’ar, open for us the gates – open the gates even as they are closing,” they cry.

Just as we consider our own fate, we hear the voices of more than 70 million refugees and displaced people worldwide.

Their cries warn us that the gates of countries around the world are in danger of closing as a history of a turning inward, rather than confronting collective dangers, repeats itself.

Their cries warn us that the gates of our own country are in danger of closing because of prejudice and short-sightedness.

Their cries warn us that the gates of our community are in danger of closing if we equivocate about our responsibility to welcome the stranger, rather than choosing to stand firm in our moral obligation.

Their cries warn us that the gates of our hearts are in danger of closing because of fear and indifference.

We know, though, that the Gates of Repentance never really close to those whose hearts remain open to change – that it is we who hold the keys to our own redemption.

Let us not allow the actions of a powerful few to deny a future to those who lives are in danger at our country’s gates.

Let us – the many – storm the gates of our country as today we storm the gates of heaven, demanding that our nation be a safe haven for all.

Let our quiet contemplation and reflection today cause us to rise up tomorrow to ensure that the gates of the world, our country, our community, and our hearts remain open to all those who cry out to us, as Jewish tradition mandates.

Our voices join the voices of all those searching for a place to call home, that they may live in safety and in freedom.

Together we say, “P’tach lanu sha’ar, open for us the gates – open the gates to all those who cry out.”

Woman-on-Woman Bullying in The Story of Hannah by Joelle Abramowitz, PhD 

 

We read the story of Hannah each year as the haftorah for the first day of Rosh Hashanah; she faces infertility, she prays to God for a child, and in exchange for her prayers being answered, she commits to giving her child up after he is weaned.  

But another look at the text could reveal a different story than the traditional narrative:

    “One such day, Elkanah offered a sacrifice. He used to give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters; but to Hannah he would give one portion only — though Hannah was his favorite — for the LORD had closed her womb. Moreover, her rival, to make her miserable, would taunt her that the LORD had closed her womb. This happened year after year: Every time she went up to the House of the LORD, the other would taunt her, so that she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah said to her, ‘Hannah, why are you crying and why aren’t you eating? Why are you so sad? Am I not more devoted to you than ten sons’” 

— I Samuel 1:4-8

While it is clear that Hannah is distraught, it is not clear to me that it is her infertility in itself that is the cause of her distress. In this passage, I am struck not by Hannah’s infertility, but by this bullying she encounters from her sister-wife.  

Why Is Peninnah Taunting Hannah? 

Was Hannah’s desire simply to have a child, or was it also to silence her sister-wife’s bullying? In a world where women are valued primarily for their fertility, taunting someone for their barrenness is the ultimate put-down. 

Being married to the same man, Hannah would have had to see Penninah, and live with this bullying, all the time. 

I would go even further to say that it is not clear to me that Hannah even wants to be a mother. We only learn about her desire for a child in connection to how she is taunted. And ultimately, in exchange for the child, she commits him to a life of service to the temple.  

While such an trade-off would seem illogical for a person who longed only to be a mother, it seems a perfectly logical solution for a person did not want to be a mother, but did want to silence her bully. The text does make clear that Hannah was the favorite wife, which means Penninah was second-best...

Is Penninah Building Herself Up?

Did Penninah build herself up by cutting Hannah down as she was stuck in a relationship with a man with whom she felt less than, despite her best efforts?

And then we have Elkanah, Hannah’s husband, who, despite his best intentions appears to be quite clueless as to what is going in between his two wives. He doesn’t seem to see the bullying taking place, to understand why his relationship with Hannah isn’t enough for her.  

In this text, we are left to imagine Hannah’s response to such a question from her husband. The situation seems similar to that in the selection of Torah we read just before this passage on Rosh Hashanah, of the struggles of Sarah and Abraham with infertility, and with the taunting that Hagar, Sarah’s handmaid, inflicts upon her.

On that text, in which Sarah explicitly tells Abraham about this interaction, Rashi, the medieval Torah commentator, speculates Sarah explaining to Abraham:

    “You deprive me of your protecting words since you hear how I am despised and yet you keep silent” 

— Genesis Rabbah 45:5

I believe the same could be said for Elkanah.

The way we’ve told the story, there is a problem that only G-d can fix, and it is only through heartfelt prayer that G-d is willing to intervene. But I think this alternative telling brings us to a different conclusion: Hannah (and Sarah) must turn to G-d because there is no place for their voices to be heard among the people in their lives and the structures in their world.  

Likewise, it does not appear that there is anyone to hear Peninnah’s pain of being stuck in a bad relationship (or Hagar’s pain of being forced to live her life as a handmaid), and this leads them to putting down the other women in their lives and further isolating themselves. Meanwhile, we celebrate the men in these stories for their accomplishments in other domains, but let them off the hook when they let down their wives in important ways.

We’ve all been a Hannah - the subject of uninvited ridicule about topics that may or may not actually be important to us, but that serve to cut us down regardless.  

We’ve all been a Penninah - cutting down others to boost our own egos when we feel powerless. 

And we’ve all been an Elkanah - letting our views on what is wrong in the lives of those around us prevent us from hearing them when they cry out to us.

Perhaps in our world, the lesson is as much about turning to each other as it is about turning to G-d.  That we need to be better to each other - to hear each other and to empower each other - and we need to build communities and structures that embody these values. This High Holiday season, I hope we can reflect on the ways we’ve been hurt, the ways we’ve hurt others, and the ways we can be better.