Remember, God, the soul of ( my grandparents, my uncles and aunts, my siblings, my husband, my wife, my partner, another close relative ) ( the name of the departed, child of the name of their parent ), who went to his/her/their world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for her/him/them. In recompense for this, let his/her/their soul be bound with the Binding of life (God), with the soul of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya'akov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah, and with the other righteous ancestors in the Garden of Eden. And let us say, Amen.

Invite an intimate group to gather in community.

The ritual facilitator reads this poem:

The Cure by Albert Huffstickler

We think we get over things.

We don't get over things.

Or say, we get over measles

but not a broken heart.

We need to make that distinction.

the things that become part of our experience

never become less a part of our experience.

How can I say it? 

The way to "get over" a life is to die.

Short of that, you move with it,

let the pain be pain,

not in the hope that it will vanish

but in the faith that it will fit in,

find its place in the shape of things

and be then not any less pain but true to form.

Because anything natural has an inherent shape

and will flow towards it.

And a life is as natural as a leaf.

That's what we're looking for:

not the end of a thing but the shape of it.

Wisdom is seeing the shape of your life

without obliterating (getting over) a single

instant of it.

Yom Kippur includes a dedicated moment, called Yizkor, to collectively remember lives lost. We ask that our loved ones find mercy and peace in their eternal rest, and by doing this we keep their memories alive even as they no longer take breath. 

Traditionally, a memorial yahrzeit candle lasts for the full 24 hours of Yom Kippur, but you can use any long-burning candle. Stare into the flame and hold for a moment the memories of those who no longer walk among us. Whether the loss is recent and tender, or in our distant past; whether lost to illness or injustice; whether dear to us or unknown or martyrs to a cause.

We Remember Them
by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer

At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them.
For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as, We remember them.

Remember, God, the soul of ( my grandparents, my uncles and aunts, my siblings, my husband, my wife, my partner, another close relative ) ( the name of the departed, child of the name of their parent ), who went to his/her/their world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for her/him/them. In recompense for this, let his/her/their soul be bound with the Binding of life (God), with the soul of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya'akov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah, and with the other righteous ancestors in the Garden of Eden. And let us say, Amen.