Grandparenting

Aging, though natural and inevitable, often comes with stigma and fear. Living in a culture infatuated with youth, the physical and mental markers of aging may provoke dread or anxiety. Aging can also be a celebration of milestones that not everyone is blessed to reach. This book of rituals invites you to go beyond the binaries and to embrace the beauty, the challenges, the joys and the sorrows of aging. 

Whether you are young and curious about what lies ahead, or already on your own aging journey, these rituals offer opportunities for navigating the seasons of life with grace, wisdom, and compassion. It is a celebration of the rich tapestry of human experience and a reminder that, no matter our age, we all have something valuable to offer the world.

“They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap and richness.” Psalms 92:15

“Rabbi Tarfon said: The day is short and the work is long. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.” Pirkei Avot 2:16 

“There are two ways to live. You can live as if nothing is a miracle. You can live as if everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein 

"I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability." Ruth Bader Ginsberg 

"The end of the matter is better than the beginning.” Ecclesiastes 7:8 

As older adults choose to be together without a formal mar­riage ceremony, there is an opportunity to create new rituals. As we live longer, we may experience the death of a spouse, or divorce. The couple asks for a blessing that will sanctify their being together and to thank God that two people have found each other and to ask for peace and comfort in the years that may be granted. 

Genesis 2:18 reminds us that it is not good that we go through life alone. The extended life spans that arc now emerging will allow for more of these types of situations. Shall we just ignore them? Or shall we see in many of these rela­tionships unique opportunities to develop something sacred and special to the many peo­ple who choose to have this new relationship blessed? 

This ceremony is not a marriage, it is a ritual of thanks that people have found each other and a hope that they may find peace and security in the years ahead. In the end, the openness to the development of such unions allows for the continuing evolution of faith communities to the new realities presented by the dynamic changes in life spans and lifestyles. 

Below are two rituals to bless a union between two peo­ple who together have decided to share their lives with one another.

A Blessing For Love 

Today we sanctify the union of _______ and _______ , and we recall· another sacred beginning. that of creation itself. God created the heavens, and earth was formed. Life was granted on the land and in the sea. Genesis tells of the 

sanctity of human companionship, of togetherness in the holy union of two people. In sanctifying this union today, we foster the long-standing emphasis on togetherness. 

_______ and _______ have found one another and now seek to come together. May their union animate the divine in each of them and help the other to grow in the likeness of God. 

Do you, ______ _. promise to support and comfort _______ , providing him/her with love and compassion, from this day forward? (Repeat for both individuals.) 

May the union of ______ and _______ be for a bless- ing, and may they find health. love, and happiness in their days together. Amen 

A Commitment Blessing 

Today we celebrate the loving commitment of _______ and _______ to each other, and we share in their joy.

In the Song of Songs, we read “Ani l'dodi v'dodi li - I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." This represents not only God's relationship with Israel, but also the commitment that is shared between _______ and ______.

Deep appreciation to Rabbi Richard Address of Jewish Sacred Aging, Rabbi Evan Krame of Jewish Doorways and to Rabbi Laura Geller, Rabbi Beth Lieberman for their leadership in developing rituals for this stage of life. We are grateful to the many individuals and organizations named in this booklet who shared their creativity and their writings, including those originally published in New Rituals for New Life Stages, edited by Rabbi Richard Address of Jewish Sacred Aging.

These poems are from a series on slicha (forgiveness) and geulah (redemption) by poet Julia Knobloch. 
Click here for the companion pieces on slicha.  

Geulah/Redemption I

They say that when we move in silence
from the blessing for redemption into the standing prayer
without pause, precise, at sunrise
we do as the pious would (although we’re not required to)
I was driven out into these copper sands
by restlessness and shame, not my intention to juxtapose
the blessing for redemption
with the plea for open lips and dew drops
Time was running out, I was not silent
Please, hear and understand me
I have no ancestors to bless, I will die without descendants
Spread your wing and hold me until the break of dawn

Geulah/Redemption II

Let me say again, lovers can be
vessels of redemption 
Remember us
Let us
remember us
for good
for the sake of our names
for the sake of our hands
for the sake of making old days new and new days holy