We Remember: Yizkor
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Remember, God, the soul of my mother, my teacher ( the name of the mother, daughter of the name of her father or mother ), who went to her world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for her. In recompense for this, let her soul be bound with the Binding of life (God), with the soul of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya'akov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah, and with the other righteous men and women in the Garden of Eden. And let us say, Amen.
El Malei Rachamim
O Power, full of mercy, who dwells on high, establish proper rest upon the wings of the Divine Presence, on the levels of the holy and pure ones [who] shine like the splendor of the firmament, [for] the soul of ( the name of the departed, daughter of the name of her father or mother ) who went to her world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for the memory of her soul; let her rest be in the Garden of Eden. Hence, Master of mercy, cover her in the cover of His wings forever and bind her soul with the Binding of life (God). God is her inheritance and let her rest in peace upon her place of repose. And let us say Amen.
(recited by family, friends, neighbors)
As I prepare and cook this meal, may I keep in my mind and my heart the holy purpose of providing comfort to these mourners.
May the work of my hands provide strength for their bodies and solace for their hearts.
May a sense of community provide some comfort in this time of devastation.
May the Source of Nourishment be with these mourners, sustaining them now and always.
-by Rabbi Janet Madden
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
Shiva - Preparing Food for a House of Mourning by Rabbit Janet Madden
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When leaving a home where people are mourning, we offer words of comfort to remind the mourners they are not alone in their grief.
People from Sephardi heritage traditionally say, “Min hashamayim tenachumu,” which means “May you be comforted by heaven.” And people from Ashkenazi heritage say, “Hamakom yenakhem etekhem betokh shaar avelay tziyon viyrushalayim,” which means, “May the Presence bring you comfort among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them.
For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as, We remember them.
-by by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
Shiva literally means “seven,” as in the seven days of mourning following the burial. This period of intense mourning spans a week, though some people observe shiva for fewer days.
During this time immediately after our loved one is buried, mourners stay at home, with family and friends taking care of their basic needs, sending or preparing food, and visiting to offer comfort. It is often referred to as “sitting shiva,” because in this period of grief, we are invited to simply sit and be with all of our feelings. Loved ones gather daily to say prayers and to share memories of the person who has died.
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
The unveiling often happens approximately one year following a death, but can be done at any time earlier or later than that. The unveiling is an opportunity to return to the grave once the stone has been set, usually for the first time since the funeral. The unveiling does not have a set liturgy or traditional ritual, though most people recite Kaddish if there are 10 or more Jewish adults present, and if a smaller group is gathered, they may recite the El Maleh Rachamim memorial prayer. Both of these prayers can be found at the end of this booklet.
By covering the stone with a cloth before the unveiling ceremony, we have the physical experience of literally unveiling the stone for all who are present to see. Following the unveiling, you may wish to gather for a meal, similar to the meal of consolation following a funeral. Some have the custom of washing their hands (without a blessing) upon exiting the cemetery, or upon arriving home after having visited the cemetery.
For the unveiling ceremony shared below, you may wish to gather some supplies. We recommend having stones, seashells, dirt or another item from nature or with personal meaning to place on the grave. A cloth to place on the grave that has personal meaning, whether a tablecloth, blanket or a scarf that belonged to the deceased. And a vessel and bottle of water for handwashing, perhaps a mug beloved by the person who has died.
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
Remember, God, the soul of my mother, my teacher ( the name of the mother, daughter of the name of her father or mother ), who went to her world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for her. In recompense for this, let her soul be bound with the Binding of life (God), with the soul of Avraham, Yitzchak and Ya'akov, Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel and Leah, and with the other righteous men and women in the Garden of Eden. And let us say, Amen.
El Malei Rachamim
O Power, full of mercy, who dwells on high, establish proper rest upon the wings of the Divine Presence, on the levels of the holy and pure ones [who] shine like the splendor of the firmament, [for] the soul of ( the name of the departed, daughter of the name of her father or mother ) who went to her world, because I will - without making a vow - give charity for the memory of her soul; let her rest be in the Garden of Eden. Hence, Master of mercy, cover her in the cover of His wings forever and bind her soul with the Binding of life (God). God is her inheritance and let her rest in peace upon her place of repose. And let us say Amen.
(recited by family, friends, neighbors)
As I prepare and cook this meal, may I keep in my mind and my heart the holy purpose of providing comfort to these mourners.
May the work of my hands provide strength for their bodies and solace for their hearts.
May a sense of community provide some comfort in this time of devastation.
May the Source of Nourishment be with these mourners, sustaining them now and always.
-by Rabbi Janet Madden
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
Shiva - Preparing Food for a House of Mourning by Rabbit Janet Madden
Preview
More
When leaving a home where people are mourning, we offer words of comfort to remind the mourners they are not alone in their grief.
People from Sephardi heritage traditionally say, “Min hashamayim tenachumu,” which means “May you be comforted by heaven.” And people from Ashkenazi heritage say, “Hamakom yenakhem etekhem betokh shaar avelay tziyon viyrushalayim,” which means, “May the Presence bring you comfort among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them.
When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them.
When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them.
For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as, We remember them.
-by by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
Shiva literally means “seven,” as in the seven days of mourning following the burial. This period of intense mourning spans a week, though some people observe shiva for fewer days.
During this time immediately after our loved one is buried, mourners stay at home, with family and friends taking care of their basic needs, sending or preparing food, and visiting to offer comfort. It is often referred to as “sitting shiva,” because in this period of grief, we are invited to simply sit and be with all of our feelings. Loved ones gather daily to say prayers and to share memories of the person who has died.
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
The unveiling often happens approximately one year following a death, but can be done at any time earlier or later than that. The unveiling is an opportunity to return to the grave once the stone has been set, usually for the first time since the funeral. The unveiling does not have a set liturgy or traditional ritual, though most people recite Kaddish if there are 10 or more Jewish adults present, and if a smaller group is gathered, they may recite the El Maleh Rachamim memorial prayer. Both of these prayers can be found at the end of this booklet.
By covering the stone with a cloth before the unveiling ceremony, we have the physical experience of literally unveiling the stone for all who are present to see. Following the unveiling, you may wish to gather for a meal, similar to the meal of consolation following a funeral. Some have the custom of washing their hands (without a blessing) upon exiting the cemetery, or upon arriving home after having visited the cemetery.
For the unveiling ceremony shared below, you may wish to gather some supplies. We recommend having stones, seashells, dirt or another item from nature or with personal meaning to place on the grave. A cloth to place on the grave that has personal meaning, whether a tablecloth, blanket or a scarf that belonged to the deceased. And a vessel and bottle of water for handwashing, perhaps a mug beloved by the person who has died.
Clip source: The Shomer Collective
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